Category Archives: Fiqh of The Family

You need to


All men want to marry to marry a woman that walks the path of Sayyidah Khadijah, but as a man you need to fulfil your rights in order to see that the marriage is successful.

  • You need to spend quality time at home.
  • You need to: be her best friend, love her, cherish her, honour her, magnify her, remember her, think about her, miss her, yearn for her, respect her, praise her, pray with her, joke with her, raise her and overlook mistakes.
  • You need to show her she is the most important person in the world; more than all the chilling with mates and the late night missions.
  • You must bow, prostrate and worship with her, and you must supplicate together.

All women want to marry a man that walks the path of Sayyiduna Muhammad ﷺ, but as a woman you must exert efforts in order for your marriage to blossom.

  • You need to: increase his confidence, lift his burdens, keep his secrets, trust him, console in him and show him you care.
  • You need to smile, joke and laugh. Be his source of peace, happiness and tranquillity. Emotionally strengthen him and spiritually assist him.
  • You need to show him that you love him and that nothing is more important to you in this world than him; more than wealth and the material of this universe.
  • You need to help him reach his potential in being a servant of Allah.

This is what the Messenger of Allah taught us about marriage. ﷺ

— Shaykh Mohammad Aslam


Speaking kindly to the Wife & Having a Concern with Ones Appearance

Speaking kindly to the Wife & Having a Concern with Ones Appearance

تطيب القول لزوجة والعناية بالمظهر أمامها

by Shaykh Muhammad Ali Farkoos

🖋Translated by Abbas Abu Yahya

‘Speaking kindly to the wife & Having a Concern with Ones Appearance in front of her: this is something which she likes in you just as you like in her.

Ibn Katheer -Rahimullaah- said describing the condition of the Prophet – sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – with his wives the Mothers of the believers whereby he said:

‘From the manners of the Prophet – sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – was that he would have beautiful companionship and would always be joyful, he would be playful with his family and treat them affectionately, he would be generous in spending on them, he would make his wives laugh, he would even run a race with ‘Aeysha the mother of the believers to show love towards her.’ [Tafseer Ibn Katheer 1/466]

There is no doubt that hurting and victimisation by words and actions, having a frown and sulky face, scowling and frowning when one sees his wife, keeping away from her and inclining to spending time with other people negates good companionship. Qurtubi -Rahimullaah- said about the meaning of the Ayaah:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

<< and live with them in kindness>> [Nisa: 19]

It means: to live with them with good companionship upon what Allaah has commanded with … . and that is to fulfill her rights from the dowry and to spend upon her, not to frown in her face except if she has committed a sin, to be cheerful whilst speaking and not coarse and crude, or harsh-hearted, nor appearing to incline to other than her… . Allaah – Subhanahu- commanded to have good companionship with women if a person takes the contract of marriage to associate with them and to show affection between them and companionship upon perfection; since this is calmer for the soul and wholesome and healthy for living.’ [Tafseer al-Qurtubi 5/97]

From what also negates good companionship is leaving off a concern with ones appearance and a good form. Ibn Abbas -Radhi Allaahu anhu- said: ‘Indeed I love to beautify myself for my wife just as I love that she beautifies herself for me; this is because Allaah -Azza wa Jal- said:

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف

<< And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable>> [Baqarah : 228]

So the beautification of men fluctuates according to their circumstances and ages; so they work to become fit and skilled, they should dress in clothing which is befitting. They should use perfume and cleansing of the mouth and use a Miswak etc to remove excess food between the teeth. He should remove that which clings to the body of bad smells and dirt, take off excess hair, trim fingernails, senior people should dye their hair, wearing a ring and other matters which fulfil the rights, so that she is pleased with this beautification and causes her to abstain from other men.’

[From ‘al-Mua’een fee Bayaan Haqqooq az-Zojjayn’ p.44-46 by Shaykh Muhammad Ali Farkoos]


The Ruling in Divulging Marital Secrets

The Ruling in Divulging Marital Secrets – Shaykh Uthaymeen


Some women are overcome by the urge to communicate what is said in the house and their marital life to their relatives and friends. Some of what is said is secret, and the husband does not want anyone else to know it. What is the ruling on women who divulge these secrets and communicate them to those outside the house, or to some members of the household?


The practice, as some women do, of communicating what is said in the house, and communicating details about their marital life to relatives and friends, is a forbidden thing. It is not permissible for a woman to divulge the secrets of her house or her affairs with her husband to any person. Allaah, The Most High says:

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property)” Surah An-Nisa’ : Ayah 34

– and the Prophet Sallalaahu alaihi wa sallam informed us that the worst of people in rank before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who has sexual intercourse with his wife and she with him, then he communicates her secrets.

Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen

Fataawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 366/367

The best of its comforts is a believing wife

Righteous wife
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
A righteous wife will be with her righteous husband for many years, and she is the one who is meant in the hadeeth in which the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:
“This world is temporary conveniences and the best of its comforts is a believing wife, who when you look at her she pleases you and
– if you tell her to do something she obeys you, and
– if you are away from her she protects you with regard to herself and your wealth.”
This is what the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa sallam) enjoined when the Muhaajiroon asked him which kind of wealth they should acquire, and he said:
“Let one of you acquire :
– a tongue that remembers Allaah,
– a thankful heart, and
– a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi from Saalim ibn Abi’l-Ja’d, from Thawbaan.
She may offer the love and compassion that Allaah speaks of in His Book, and the pain of separation may be harder for her than death in some cases, and harder than losing wealth or leaving one’s homeland, especially if one of them is fond of the other or they have children together who will be harmed by separation.
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (35/299).

Let him not be angry with his wife


How Much Shaytan Tries to Cause Marital Strife

Abū ʾUmāmah – Allāh be pleased with him, said:

Verily Shayṭān comes to your bed after your wife has made it and prepared it and throws a stick, a stone, or something [similar] on it to make the husband angry with his wife.

So if someone finds this, let him not be angry with his wife, for it is the work of Shayṭān.

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad #1191. The chain of transmission is graded ḥasan by Shaykh Al-Albānī; he also regards it as being authentic from the Prophet ﷺ . See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1:463


They do not envy, cheat, betray, insult,

Morals Of The Believing Men And Women
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Bāz [رحمه الله] said:
❝These are some of the morals and characteristics of the believing men and women.
  • They help, protect, and support one another.
  • They do not envy, cheat, betray, insult, or call each other by offensive nicknames.
  • They do not slander or do anything that may hurt or cause feuds, enmity, and division; instead they love and advise and exhort one another to do good for the sake of Allah.
  • They, therefore, enjoin the good and forbid the evil amongst them. Such is the behavior of the believing men and women.
With these manners societies prosper and affairs are straightened.
In addition to this, the believers perform Salah [Prayer] as prescribed by Allah, :
– in a state of tranquility,
– Khushu’ [the heart being attuned to the act of worship], and devotion;
– in its due times; and
– fulfilling its conditions, pillars, and obligations.
They perform it as Allah has prescribed, each in its due time.❞
[Fatwas of Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Bāz, (4/108) | Translated By Alifta]

A Reminder from a beloved wife to her beloved husband


A Reminder from a beloved wife to her beloved husband

Assalaamu alaykum warahmatullaah

My dear husband, we all know that marriage is a sign from the signs of Allaah. Allaah (The Most High) said:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [30:21]

My dear husband, I pray that Allaah (The Most High) grants you happiness and success in this life and the next.

May I remind you that being obedient to you in that which Allaah loves is an act of worship and your acts of kindness and compassion are also acts of worship, which cannot be fulfilled except by the Tawfeeq of Allaah (The Most High). So I ask Allaah (The Most High) to grant me Tawfeeq so that I continue being an obedient wife in that which Allaah loves.

  • I also ask Allaah (The Most High) to reward you and grant you safety in this life and the next. Aameen

My dear husband-may Allaah preserve you upon the Sunnah and upon obedience to Him-we all know that that love and compassion in marriage, which is confined within the boundaries of the sharia is the only source of happiness in marriage; therefore

  • I ask Allaah (The Most High) to increase this love between us and include us amongst His grateful slaves.

You know that marriage is a beautiful and blessed affair, but because we are only human we will fall short due to forgetfulness and weakness. Allaah (The Most High) said: [وخُلِقَ الإنسَانُ ضَعِيفاً – And the Insaan was created weak (4:28)]

Therefore, let us constantly remind one another –with gentleness, love, compassion, eagerness for khayr- about fear of Allaah and the home of the afterlife.

Indeed, we must utilize the blessed relationship of marriage-which is the one ordained by Allaah-to please our Lord and strive to achieve eternal success in the afterlife. Indeed, we have heard the statement of Allaah (The Most High):

فَإِذَا جَاءَتِ الصَّاخَّةُ

يَوْمَ يَفِرُّ الْمَرْءُ مِنْ أَخِيهِ

وَأُمِّهِ وَأَبِيهِ

وَصَاحِبَتِهِ وَبَنِيهِ

لِكُلِّ امْرِئٍ مِّنْهُمْ يَوْمَئِذٍ شَأْنٌ يُغْنِيهِ

وُجُوهٌ يَوْمَئِذٍ مُّسْفِرَةٌ

ضَاحِكَةٌ مُّسْتَبْشِرَةٌ

وَوُجُوهٌ يَوْمَئِذٍ عَلَيْهَا غَبَرَةٌ

تَرْهَقُهَا قَتَرَةٌ

أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْكَفَرَةُ الْفَجَرَةُ

Then, when there comes As-Sakhkhah (the Day of Resurrection’s second blowing of Trumpet);

  • That Day shall a man flee from his brother; And from his mother and his father; And from his wife and his children.
  • Everyman, that Day, will have enough to make him careless of others.
  • Some faces that Day, will be bright (true believers of Islamic Monotheism). Laughing, rejoicing at good news (of Paradise).

And other faces, that Day, will be dust-stained; Darkness will cover them; Such will be the Kafarah (disbelievers in Allah, in His Oneness, and in His Messenger Muhammad (), etc.), the Fajarah (wicked evil doers). [80:33-42]