Category Archives: Fiqh of The Family

Sunnah of Pregnancy

SUNNAH OF PREGNANCY

Having children is one of the blessings of Allah. God provides us all with different rizq (well-being), health and offsprings. All of these things are gifts from God and we should be grateful for what we are given and never complain for what we don’t have.

⏩It is sunnah to announce the birth of the child once the baby arrives but till that moment below are some beneficial practices for you and your child in sha Allah.

💮KEEP IT PRIVATE
If you are expecting a baby, keep thanking God for this gift and keep it private among close relatives. There is a general principle which should be paid attention to when telling others of blessings. The news should be given only to those who wish good for you and will rejoice over it, so as to ward off the evil eye and destructive envy (hasad). The evidence for that is the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Be discreet in order to achieve what you want, for everyone who is blessed is envied.”

Narrated by al-Tabaraani and Abu Nu’aym; classed as sahaah by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 943.

💮BE THANKFUL
Be thankful to Allah for having chosen you for such a gift. The first trimester is hard for some women who suffer from nausea (morning sickness) and weakness; and the last weeks of pregnancy are exhausting:
Allah says in the Quran: “…His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness…” (Surah Luqman:14)

“…His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship…” (Surah al-Aĥqaf:15)

– even then, keep thanking Allah and believe that He will never burden you more than you can bear! He is indeed the best of planners and knows what is best for us!

💮FOLLOW THE FOOTSTEPS OF THE MOTHER OF Maryam (AS)
What a blessed mother was she who gave birth to Maryam! So why not follow her footsteps and make the same dua (supplication) she did when she was expecting as narrated in the Quran: “[Mention, O Muhammad], when the wife of ‘Imran said: My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing.” (Surah Aal Imran: 35)

With this dua, renew your intention every day that this baby would be a pious servant of Allah. Insha’Allah your intentions and prayers will have a positive effect in creating an innate bond between your child and the deen (religion) of Allah!

💮WHEN RUH (SOUL) ENTERS YOUR BABY
It is narrated in a hadith by the Prophet (sa) that: “Each one of you is constituted in the womb of the mother for forty days, and then he becomes a clot of thick blood for a similar period, and then a piece of flesh for a similar period. Then Allah sends an angel who is ordered to write four things. He is ordered to write down his deeds, his livelihood, his (date of) death, and whether he will be blessed or wretched (in religion). Then the soul is breathed into him…” (Bukhari)

Based on this hadith, jurists have inferred that the soul enters the foetus at around 4 months/120 days after gestation, that is, the second trimester. As you enter your second trimester, make frequent dua to Allah to pre-ordain for your baby a life of unwavering faith.

💮RECITE THE QURAN FOR YOUR BABY
Around the 20th week, the baby in the womb gains the ability to hear. This is a great time to create a one-on-one, exclusive bond with your unborn baby by reciting the Quran every day. The sound waves of your voice will reach your baby and what better words than the melodious Quran for your baby to hear and get familiar with. Give your child a head start in creating a relationship and bond with the Quran even before he comes in this world. This is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your child!

💮READ UP
Perhaps one of the things that the woman should focus on during this period is learning about sound methods of raising children, reading books on this topic or listening to useful lectures by scholars on it, whether that has to do with moral upbringing, health, psychology, pedagogy, and so on, in preparation for the great mission with which Allah has entrusted the parents, which is the trust of raising and caring for the child, so that the parents may embark upon it with knowledge and insight and achieve the best results, and attain the pleasure of Allah in this world and in the Hereafter.

💮DUAS
As for the acts of worship that the pregnant woman can do, they are all the acts of worship that the Muslim does by day and by night, such as praying, fasting (so long as there is no fear of harm), giving charity, reading Qur’aan, regularly reciting the adhkaar that are prescribed in sharee‘ah, treating people kindly, visiting relatives, taking stock of oneself, and striving to attain the best attitudes, actions and words

💮FOOD AND FITNESS
Meditation through prayer: Many people will guide you towards yoga and meditation, which are a great way to relax your overworked body. However remember that prayer is the best form of meditation and it will calm you and soothe your baby as well.

💮Keep checking in with Allah: Stay connected with Allah and talk to Him about your fears and difficulties. Make istikharah (guidance prayer) for all decisions, especially when choosing your doctor and your delivery options. Ask Allah to grant you a safe delivery, a righteous child, and an easy transition into motherhood.

💮Avail the maternity leave Allah has given, if needed: The Prophet (sa) said: “Allah has relieved the traveller of half of the prayer and of the duty to fast, and He has relieved pregnant and nursing mothers (of the duty to fast).” (Sunan an-Nasa’i; reliable) If you feel that you are unable to fast due to weakness or any other complication, you can leave your fast without any worry. However do remember to mark it somewhere so that you don’t forget to make it up later.

💮Eat beneficial foods: Add honey, milk, figs, and dates to your diet as all of these have been mentioned in the Quran or the hadith for their benefits.
♥️May Allah make our pregnancy easy, and grant us pious child who will be sadqa e jariah for us…

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You need to

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All men want to marry to marry a woman that walks the path of Sayyidah Khadijah, but as a man you need to fulfil your rights in order to see that the marriage is successful.

  • You need to spend quality time at home.
  • You need to: be her best friend, love her, cherish her, honour her, magnify her, remember her, think about her, miss her, yearn for her, respect her, praise her, pray with her, joke with her, raise her and overlook mistakes.
  • You need to show her she is the most important person in the world; more than all the chilling with mates and the late night missions.
  • You must bow, prostrate and worship with her, and you must supplicate together.

All women want to marry a man that walks the path of Sayyiduna Muhammad ﷺ, but as a woman you must exert efforts in order for your marriage to blossom.

  • You need to: increase his confidence, lift his burdens, keep his secrets, trust him, console in him and show him you care.
  • You need to smile, joke and laugh. Be his source of peace, happiness and tranquillity. Emotionally strengthen him and spiritually assist him.
  • You need to show him that you love him and that nothing is more important to you in this world than him; more than wealth and the material of this universe.
  • You need to help him reach his potential in being a servant of Allah.

This is what the Messenger of Allah taught us about marriage. ﷺ

— Shaykh Mohammad Aslam

Speaking kindly to the Wife & Having a Concern with Ones Appearance

Speaking kindly to the Wife & Having a Concern with Ones Appearance

تطيب القول لزوجة والعناية بالمظهر أمامها

by Shaykh Muhammad Ali Farkoos

🖋Translated by Abbas Abu Yahya

‘Speaking kindly to the wife & Having a Concern with Ones Appearance in front of her: this is something which she likes in you just as you like in her.

Ibn Katheer -Rahimullaah- said describing the condition of the Prophet – sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – with his wives the Mothers of the believers whereby he said:

‘From the manners of the Prophet – sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – was that he would have beautiful companionship and would always be joyful, he would be playful with his family and treat them affectionately, he would be generous in spending on them, he would make his wives laugh, he would even run a race with ‘Aeysha the mother of the believers to show love towards her.’ [Tafseer Ibn Katheer 1/466]

There is no doubt that hurting and victimisation by words and actions, having a frown and sulky face, scowling and frowning when one sees his wife, keeping away from her and inclining to spending time with other people negates good companionship. Qurtubi -Rahimullaah- said about the meaning of the Ayaah:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

<< and live with them in kindness>> [Nisa: 19]

It means: to live with them with good companionship upon what Allaah has commanded with … . and that is to fulfill her rights from the dowry and to spend upon her, not to frown in her face except if she has committed a sin, to be cheerful whilst speaking and not coarse and crude, or harsh-hearted, nor appearing to incline to other than her… . Allaah – Subhanahu- commanded to have good companionship with women if a person takes the contract of marriage to associate with them and to show affection between them and companionship upon perfection; since this is calmer for the soul and wholesome and healthy for living.’ [Tafseer al-Qurtubi 5/97]

From what also negates good companionship is leaving off a concern with ones appearance and a good form. Ibn Abbas -Radhi Allaahu anhu- said: ‘Indeed I love to beautify myself for my wife just as I love that she beautifies herself for me; this is because Allaah -Azza wa Jal- said:

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوف

<< And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable>> [Baqarah : 228]

So the beautification of men fluctuates according to their circumstances and ages; so they work to become fit and skilled, they should dress in clothing which is befitting. They should use perfume and cleansing of the mouth and use a Miswak etc to remove excess food between the teeth. He should remove that which clings to the body of bad smells and dirt, take off excess hair, trim fingernails, senior people should dye their hair, wearing a ring and other matters which fulfil the rights, so that she is pleased with this beautification and causes her to abstain from other men.’

[From ‘al-Mua’een fee Bayaan Haqqooq az-Zojjayn’ p.44-46 by Shaykh Muhammad Ali Farkoos]

🌐source

The Ruling in Divulging Marital Secrets

The Ruling in Divulging Marital Secrets – Shaykh Uthaymeen

Question:

Some women are overcome by the urge to communicate what is said in the house and their marital life to their relatives and friends. Some of what is said is secret, and the husband does not want anyone else to know it. What is the ruling on women who divulge these secrets and communicate them to those outside the house, or to some members of the household?

Answer:

The practice, as some women do, of communicating what is said in the house, and communicating details about their marital life to relatives and friends, is a forbidden thing. It is not permissible for a woman to divulge the secrets of her house or her affairs with her husband to any person. Allaah, The Most High says:

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property)” Surah An-Nisa’ : Ayah 34

– and the Prophet Sallalaahu alaihi wa sallam informed us that the worst of people in rank before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who has sexual intercourse with his wife and she with him, then he communicates her secrets.

Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen

Fataawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 366/367

The best of its comforts is a believing wife

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Righteous wife
 
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
 
A righteous wife will be with her righteous husband for many years, and she is the one who is meant in the hadeeth in which the Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:
 
“This world is temporary conveniences and the best of its comforts is a believing wife, who when you look at her she pleases you and
 
– if you tell her to do something she obeys you, and
 
– if you are away from her she protects you with regard to herself and your wealth.”
 
This is what the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa sallam) enjoined when the Muhaajiroon asked him which kind of wealth they should acquire, and he said:
 
“Let one of you acquire :
 
– a tongue that remembers Allaah,
– a thankful heart, and
– a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”
 
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi from Saalim ibn Abi’l-Ja’d, from Thawbaan.
 
She may offer the love and compassion that Allaah speaks of in His Book, and the pain of separation may be harder for her than death in some cases, and harder than losing wealth or leaving one’s homeland, especially if one of them is fond of the other or they have children together who will be harmed by separation.
 
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (35/299).
@Source:

Let him not be angry with his wife

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How Much Shaytan Tries to Cause Marital Strife

Abū ʾUmāmah – Allāh be pleased with him, said:

Verily Shayṭān comes to your bed after your wife has made it and prepared it and throws a stick, a stone, or something [similar] on it to make the husband angry with his wife.

So if someone finds this, let him not be angry with his wife, for it is the work of Shayṭān.

Al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab Al-Mufrad #1191. The chain of transmission is graded ḥasan by Shaykh Al-Albānī; he also regards it as being authentic from the Prophet ﷺ . See Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 1:463

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They do not envy, cheat, betray, insult,

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Morals Of The Believing Men And Women
 
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Bāz [رحمه الله] said:
 
❝These are some of the morals and characteristics of the believing men and women.
 
  • They help, protect, and support one another.
  • They do not envy, cheat, betray, insult, or call each other by offensive nicknames.
  • They do not slander or do anything that may hurt or cause feuds, enmity, and division; instead they love and advise and exhort one another to do good for the sake of Allah.
  • They, therefore, enjoin the good and forbid the evil amongst them. Such is the behavior of the believing men and women.
 
With these manners societies prosper and affairs are straightened.
 
In addition to this, the believers perform Salah [Prayer] as prescribed by Allah, :
 
– in a state of tranquility,
– Khushu’ [the heart being attuned to the act of worship], and devotion;
– in its due times; and
– fulfilling its conditions, pillars, and obligations.
 
They perform it as Allah has prescribed, each in its due time.❞
 
[Fatwas of Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Bāz, (4/108) | Translated By Alifta]