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Advise for women

Beneficial Advice For Women Who Are Already Married and To Those About To Be Married.

Following is an advice to every Muslim woman that contains matters to avoid in order to have a good marriage.

1 — Avoid angering your husband. The Prophet PBUH mentioned that among the three that Allah does not accept their prayer are, “A wife who goes to sleep while her husband is angry with her.” [At-Tirmithi].

2 — Avoid harming your husband in any way, “If a woman harms (in any way) her husband, then his wife in Paradise tells her: ‘Do not harm him, may Allah fight you, he is only staying temporarily with you. Soon he will come to us.‘ [Ahmad & At-Tirmithi].

3 — Avoid being unappreciative or unthankful to your husband, “Allah does not look to the woman who does not appreciate her husband while she cannot stand his departing her.” [An-Nasaii].

4 – Do not ask your husband for divorce for no reason. The Prophet PBUH warned women who ask for divorce for no sound reason in his Hadith, “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce for no reason will not smell the fragrance of Paradise. [Sahih Al-Jamii].

5 — Do not obey your husband if he asks you to do prohibited matters, “Do not disobey the Creator to obey any human.” [Ahmad & Al-Hakim].

6 — Avoid voluntary fasting without your husband’s permission, unless he is absent, “A woman does (must) not fast while her husband is present without his permission, except in Ramadhan.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]. This Hadith emphasizes the importance of the wife satisfying her husbands sexual needs. If the husband agrees, then the wife can do volunteer fasting, satisfied that she fulfilled her obligation towards ber husband.

7 — It is a major sin to deny your husband sexual pleasure. The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses till he slept while angry, then the Angles will curse her till the morning.” [Muslim]. Muslim men have no other means to satisfy them but through Their wives. Therefore, the very essence of marriage will be destroyed if men are denied this right by their wives.

8 – It is a major sin for husbands and wives to tell others what they do in bed. The Prophet described the ones who do that as, “A devil who meets a fe ale devil and has intercourse with her in public” [Ahmad].

9 — The Prophet PBUH ordered every Muslim woman not to let anyone into their houses, “Unless he (her husband) gives her permission.” [Al-Bukhari].

10 — Muslim women do not have the habit of going in and out of their houses without necessity. Allah SWT said, what translated means, “And stay in your houses” [33:33].

Sense of Gheerah

Reviving Our Sense Of Gheerah (Protective Jealousy)

by Sister Fatima Barakatullah

We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don’t mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and women. The Prophet sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions were known for their Gheerah. All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

“The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…” (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34).

Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed description of this evil characteristic can be found in adh-Dhahabee’s book of Major Sins (Kitaab ul-Kabaa’ir).

A story of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa’ radi allahu anha the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq radi allahu anhu and sister of Aisha radi allahu anha relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughter Asmaa’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam radi allahu anhu who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa’ relates:

When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…”, so Asmaa’ had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I used to carry on my head,” she continues, “the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam, along with a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a man having the most Gheerah . The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah.” So Asmaa’ declined the offer made by the Prophet sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam. Upon this az-Zubair said: “By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him.” (related in Sahih Bukhari)

Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa’! See how she felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband’s feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she didn’t want to upset him by accepting the Prophet’s sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam help even though the Prophet was the purest of men and even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! And look at az-Zubair radi allahu anhu, even though he had a lot of Gheerah, he didn’t want to inconvenience his wife. What a beautiful relationship they had!

Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don’t understand if their men folk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face – by Allah, be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you do and so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters. And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk’s sense of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to do something that it not Haraam, we must do it.

And Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to walk around attracting the attentions and evil-thoughts of other men? How can you not mind if she smiles as she talks to other men. Nobody has the right to enjoy her and her company but you and her Maharim men. You are not being overbearing if you first encourage and then enforce the hijaab on your womenfolk because YOU will be asked about it on the Day of Judgement and it is also a major sin upon YOU! It is upon the men to enforce these things in their homes and you cannot use the excuse that your wife didn’t want to. Women need a firm, balanced, guiding hand from their men, so with wisdom you must enforce hijaab in your home. You are a shepard and are responsible for your flock!

Allah reminds us all in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

“Oh you who believe, Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones.” (At-Tahreem, Aayah 6)

There is a big difference between how Islam values and protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam! As Muslims we have to be careful that our Hayaa’ (sense of modesty and shame) and Gheerah don’t wear out in a society in which people have lost it.

Girls in this Dunya

The most beautiful girls in this Dunya
are those women who keep their Awrah closed.

There’s a woman who dressed good because she wants to please Allah the Almighty and she is afraid of the consequences of not following what the right dress of a Muslimah is.

You want to be respected, right?
Then start within yourself and learn how to give respect to yourself before others.

Keep and protect yourself from the evil eyes by covering yourself with proper dress as stated in the noble Qur’an.

Being careless in dressing by showing the curve of your body is just like you are selling yourself into a cheap prize.

Learn how to be an excellent one not the perfectionist. Allahul Musta’an…

Assalamualaikum!

Meenah❤

Sins and Evil Deeds

The Difference Between Sins And Evil Deeds

The Great Scholar Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawzeeyah [رحمه الله] said:

❝Whereby the word ‘sins’ is mentioned in the Qur’aan then the intent by it is, the major sins.

Whereby the word ‘bad deeds’ then the intent by it is, the lesser sins.

When reflecting upon the Ayaat of the Noble Qur’aan we find:

The word ‘forgiveness’ [al-Maghfiratu] is presented with sins and the word ‘at-Takfeer’ [nullification] is presented with bad deeds.

Allaah [تعالى] said:

‏﴿رَبَّنَا فَاغْفِرْ لَنَا ذُنُوبَنَا وَكَفِّرْ عَنَّا سَيِّئَاتِنَا﴾

«Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and remit from us our evil deeds.»

This is because the word ‘forgiveness’ [al-Maghfiratu] includes prevention and protection and the word ‘at-Takfeer’ [nullification] includes concealment and removal.

The evidence that bad deeds are the lesser sins and what nullifies them is the saying of Allah [تعالى]:

‏﴿إِنْ تَجْتَنِبُوا كَبَائِرَ مَا تُنْهَوْنَ عَنْهُ نُكَفِّرْ عَنْكُمْ سَيِّئَاتِكُمْ﴾

«If you avoid the great sins which you are forbidden to do, We shall remit from you your [small] sins.»

[From Mudarij As-Salikeen, (1/317) | Translated By Abbas Abu Yahya Miraath al-Anbiyya]

Manners to our Children

How to inspire manners to your children!!!
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1. When entering the house greet your children with salams and kisses. This should help develop their sense of love and mercy.

2. Be good to your neighbours and never backbite. Never speak ill of other drivers when on the road. Your children listen, absorb and emulate.

3. When calling your parents, encourage your children to speak to them. When visiting your parents take your children with you. The more they see you take care of your parents the more they will learn to take care of you.

4. When driving them, say to school, don’t always play albums or cds (even if good cds!). Rather, tell them the stories yourself. This will have a greater impact – trust me!

5. Read to them a short hadith a day – it doesn’t take much time, but very impactful in creating strong bonds and wonderful memories.

6. Comb your hair, clean your teeth and wear presentable cloths even if sitting at home and not going out for the day. They need to learn that being clean and tidy has nothing to do with going out!

7. Try not to blame or comment on every word or action they say or do. Learn to overlook and let go sometimes. This certainly builds their self-confidence.

8. Ask your children’s permission before entering their rooms. Don’t just knock and enter, but wait for a verbal permission. They will learn to do the same when wanting to enter your room.

9. Apologize to your children if you made a mistake. Apologizing teaches them to be humble and polite.

10. Don’t be sarcastic or make fun of their views or feelings, even if you “didn’t mean it” and was “only joking”. It really hurts.

11. Show respect to your children’s privacy. It’s important for their sense of value and self-esteem.

12. Don’t expect that they will listen or understand the first time. Don’t take it personally. Be patient and consistent.

13. Play some games with them. Let them enjoy your company. They will remember all that when they grow up.

14. Be firm. If they need reprimanding, don’t hesitate in doing so. Correct their mistakes straight away. Never say “Oh he’s only a child” or “He’ll learn as he grows up”
No! This is the time to learn. If they don’t learn now, they never will.

15. Teach them to be patient and to be grateful (Sabr & shukr). Don’t give them everything they ask for. Stick to your limits. Withhold some things even if you have the capability to give them. And teach them to say ‘Jazakallah’ ‘Thank you’. Tell them to do shukr of Allah over everything.

16. Finally, Always make dua for them from the depth of your heart. Your duas can be highly effective. Parents’ duas are among those which are guaranteed acceptance. No Wali or buzrug’s duas can be as powerful as the parents’ duas.

May Allah (swt) give us the ability to raise our children with the best behavior. May Allah make them coolness of eyes for us. May Allah give our children the best of both worlds; Dunya & Aakhira.

Ameen

source :fiqh of islam in marriage.

Collected

Saved

It was narrated from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“Allah the Blessed and Exalted says:

‘O My slaves, all of you are sinners except those whom I have saved. So ask Me for forgiveness, I will forgive you. Whoever among you knows that I have the power to forgive and asks Me to forgive by My power, I will forgive him. All of you are astray except those whom I guide. Ask Me for guidance and I will guide you. All of you are poor except those whom I enrich (make independent of means). Ask of Me and I will grant you provision. Even if your living and your dead, your first and your last, your fresh and your dry, were all as pious as the most pious among My slaves, that would not increase my dominion as much as a gnat’s wing, and if they were to be as evil as the most evil among My slaves, that would not detract from My dominion as much as a gnat’s wing.

Even if your living and your dead, your first and your last, your fresh and your dry, were to join together and each of them were to ask for all that he wishes for, that would only detract from My dominion as much as if one of you were to pass by the edge of the sea and dip a needle in it and withdraw it.

That is because I am the Most Generous, Majestic. I give with a word; when I will something, all I do is say to it “Be!” – and it is.’”

●[Sunan Ibn Majah Book 37 Hadith 4257]

Dua

Bismillah

Duaa is conversation with Allah, our Creator, our Lord and Master, the All Knowing, the All Powerful. But one thing that’s often forgotten about Duaa is that it’s direct communication with Allah.

This act in itself is of extraordinary significance. It is the most uplifting, liberating, empowering, and transforming conversation a person can ever have. We turn to Him because we know that He alone can lift our sufferings and solve our problems.

We feel relieved after describing our difficulties to our Creator. We feel empowered after having communicated with the All Mighty. We sense His mercy all around us after talking to the Most Merciful. We get a new commitment to follow His path for that is the only path for success.

We feel blessed with each such commitment. However, Duaa cannot be done in a distracted manner, as the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wassalam has said in a Hadith narrated by Abu Huraira: Make Duaa and be assured of being answered, and know that Allah does not answer a Duaa from a careless heart which is not concentrating (Tirmidhi).

In the Qur’an, Allah says: “When My servants ask about Me, I am indeed close to them. I listen to the prayer of every supplicant, when he calls on me. Let them also, with a will, listen to my call, and believe in me, so that they may walk in the right way” Quran 2:186

Make duaa for others what you want for yourself. As a Muslim, we are supposed to feel the pain of other Muslims and pray for them. Life can throw us in the same situation where we might need duaas from others.

Abu Darda reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “No Muslim servant supplicates for his brother behind his back but that the angel says: And for you the same.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2732
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim

Duaa is the weapon of a believer. It will protect you from the evils of enemies. Duaa is the shield of a believer. It will increase your sustenance.

Duaa is more forceful than a sword. Duaa replaces what has been destined, and also creates that what has not been destined.

The duaa can change our life, our outlook, and our fate. It is the most potent weapon of a believer. Never underestimate the power of duaa. When nothing helps only duaa helps.

[Surah Maryam – 4] Duas – Turning the impossible into possible.

May Allah remove our worries and miseries and shower peace over our hearts and minds. Aameen Ya Rabbal Alameen